have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize
