I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
