she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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