How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
