it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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