oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
