why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
