So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize
