I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
It's just like the Real World with babies
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
