Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
