Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize