Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
