So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Randomize
