so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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