Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
