There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Duck Duck Cougar?
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
