I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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