i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
