And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
