im drinking this country out of the recession.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
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