ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
This show inspires me to have sex in space
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
