i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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