4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
