Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
