you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
