Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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