lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
