Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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