kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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