you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
