is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
