Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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