i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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