Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
