we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
