I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
