My hand turned me down
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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