If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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