We're facebook friends in real life
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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