Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
