anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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