Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
