At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
