Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
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