just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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