It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Randomize
