ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
You took a bar mat shot.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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