These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Randomize
