this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
