U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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